Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
William A. Ward

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
Psalm 106:1

The other day I was browsing at a bookstore and came upon a bountiful selection of gratitude journals. I was pleasantly surprised at the pile of resources for giving thanks. But as I flipped through them it occurred to me that there was something missing. Within the journals there was always a place to list what you’re grateful for, and sometimes there was a reflection question to go deeper. But the journals didn’t contain a place to list who you’re grateful to.

Gratitude is about connection – an act of generosity from giver to receiver. That generosity is completed when the gift is received with thanks. If we, as receivers, are only listing our gifts and not expressing our thanks to the giver(s), we are missing one of the most significant parts of gratefulness.

Particularly in a Christian practice, the key to giving thanks “in all circumstances” is a step of faith that requires trust in God, the Giver of all good things. Even if the gift isn’t always clear in the moment, we presume his love for us. And we grow in that trust as we collect evidence of his goodness both now and in remembrance.

With or without faith, we shouldn’t ignore the obvious – that there is no gift without a giver.

I led a youth workshop on gratitude and put up three columns on a white board: Gift, Receiver, Giver. I asked the youth to help me fill in the rows underneath by saying one thing are you thankful for today.

One youth said she was thankful for her home.

I asked, “Who is the receiver?”

“I am!” she happily replied.

“And who is the giver?”

She hesitated, figuring that she should answer, “God.” I gave her more time to think about who she’s personally grateful to for her home.

She said, “My parents.”

And so, with a little prompting, we had the first row filled in.

The next youth said she was thankful for the gift of medicine.

I asked again, “Who is the receiver?”

“I am.”

“And the giver?”

She said, “Science.”

I clarified that science is not a who but a what – more gift than the giver. “Who then, might you thank?”

She edited her answer to: her doctor, her parents for advocating for her, the scientists who studied it and made it, for the pharmacist who dispensed it, God who made the raw ingredients and brought all those people together to help her.

Her gratitude list, though for only one gift, was long on givers!

After that, we were flying – what we were thankful for and who we were thankful to were easily brought to mind. God featured heavily as Giver and not just because it was the “right answer,” but because the more they thought about it, the more they could see his involvement in their lives.

Perhaps there is room in our gratitude practice to restructure our thanks and list out not only gift, but giver and receiver too. We will weigh more heavily the many people who play a part in distributing goodness into our lives and understand how gratitude strengthens those connections. Additionally, while it may seem redundant to name yourself again and again as the receiver, you’ll find it develops a heart of gratitude as you notice how loved you are through the gifts of God and others.

Grace to you as you seek to live gratefully!

Leave a comment