If you’re attempting a gratitude practice, you can probably find something to be grateful for with very little prompting. Right now, I can look around me and give thanks for the low hanging gratitude fruit of: sunshine, a comfortable room to write in, and good health.
But I can very quickly qualify my gratitude for the sun with a disdain for the cold wind that is blowing (it has been an unseasonably cold spring!). I might acknowledge the gift of comfort in this room, but still wish I was somewhere else. I can appreciate my good health, but still find aches and pains to complain about.
One can give thanks easily in a moment, but how does one hold on to it?
The truth is, you could give thanks 100 times today and still not have an underlying sense of gratefulness. I call this post-gratitude effect “the drift.” Sure, you can acknowledge the good things around you, but you are inclined to modify your gratitude to include what is actually concerning you. The drift reveals where your heart is positioned. There is a gravitational pull to what you’re really believing about your life and circumstances.
For those of us who find ourselves dwelling on ingratitude, which may look like bitterness, anxiety, resentment or envy, and desiring change, there are a few simple practices to help your heart flow toward gratitude.
The first is to notice the drift when it is happening. When you are trying to give thanks, do you shift quickly to add “but…”? Pay attention first and find out whether the drift is true for you. If so, you can simply take out the “but” in your gratitude statements.
Consider something you can express thanks for. Sit with what you’ve given thanks for a moment and allow yourself to be present with it for 30 seconds.
I just practiced this exercise while writing. I looked out the window and caught sight of a budding tree. Just to sit in that thought was to take in in more depth the tree – it’s neon green of new leaves, the gentle sway in the air, the unique shape of its trunk, the home it is for the birds, the unseen activity of producing oxygen… To immerse in the thought was to take a micro vacation. My spirit was lifted.
To do this means you may have to release what causes the drift. Is it OK to let go of what you normally dwell on? What happens to it if you “over-ride” it with thanks?
If your heart is determined to hold on to what is difficult or negative, then switch gears. Leave the gratefulness practice behind for a moment and attend to what is concerning you. Perhaps it is important to process with someone, to pray into your grief or groaning. Giving thanks is never about ignoring your unpleasant emotions, but looking at them with a lens of reality. Looking at your circumstances in such a way can direct you toward healing out of which true gratitude comes.
Curbing the drift is part of building gratitude muscles. It takes repetitive practice – so that we are reoriented to not only giving thanks, but letting it be the foremost response in every circumstance.
TRY IT FOR YOURSELF
Consider something you’re grateful for. Sit with it for 30 seconds without allowing yourself to drift. What was the impact? Did anything change for you?
In Everything 
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